NO CONTROL
VENT SESSION: START
I know that I am not the only one out there in this vast world that doesn't feel the same way that I having been feeling lately: OUT OF CONTROL. Like life just keeps going and you don't have a say. Well that is how I feel. I know that we have done this to ourselves. We chosen some roads to take and instead of knowing if we can take those roads we are sitting at a HUGE red light, waiting for someone to come and tell us what to do and move traffic along. I thought I dealt well with change, but I guess I am getting a huge reality check. I DON'T DO WELL WITH CHANGE. Especially this type of change. Like not knowing where we will be living 6 months from now, can we move forward?, are we doing to right thing. I wish Heavenly Father would just give us a huge blinking neon sign and have is say "YES, keep going", or "NO, STOP, be more PATIENT". I guess that is why we need to have more faith and realize more then anything that he is the only one with COMPLETE CONTROL and he just lets us think that we have control some of the times.
And now some of you are wondering: What is she talking about? What changes?........
Well, only time with tell, and when we know, we will let others know. I hope soon, because I am going CRAZY with all these unanswered ANSWERS. I know I will be able to handle whatever this coming year gives us, I just want to know what it is going to be.
Sorry for the vent session.....I don't normally blog about such things, but I needed an outlet. A way to express my frustrations to the 2 people that even look at my blog ;)
Please give me words of encouragement and advice if wanted, because I know that there are a few of you that have gone through MUCH MORE then I have ever had to or ever will. I am just being weak, but I guess I am allowed right :)
VENT SESSION: OVER
8 comments:
Hey!
I totally understand, even though I have never had to move to different areas a whole lot. We have changed jobs and started a business without knowing the outcome but it is going relatively well for now. I think it was a blessing to loose the job at BP; although it seemed far from it at the time. I am sure you will be very happy with whatever happens but I agree that waiting is obnoxious. There are definitely more than two people that read your blog; I happened to actually look at a few today even though I have completely ignored mine lately, haha. Gary should be expecting a call from Trent soon since I am a large snoop and can't wait for a blog post :).
You are fortunate to have each other and the educational opportunities in front of you. it sucks with the uncertainty, I know. I've been there. But keep going day by day. The answers will be revealed.
As a friend of mine just wrote on her blog, just focus on two feet in front of you at a time...the entire race will be run by taking things two feet at a time. Being in limbo like you guys are right now is SO HARD!!!! The good thing, though, is that you know you will be living SOMEWHERE in 6 months...and that by the time 6 months from now gets here, you will know the answers to all your questions. You'll have something new to worry about! Yay! You can do this! Great things are coming in your life...do I sound like a forturne cookie yet?? :)
I don't like big changes much either. But there is something exciting about having a little adventure and picking up your life and going someplace new. It seems like every place we've gone has had a special reason attached to it. I love you and am still hoping for a new neighbor!!!!
It takes a brave couple like you two to explore all the possibilities before you; we're so proud of you, and while uncertain futures and too many unknown outcomes make it totally overwhelming, you two have always made the most of what you got and we know it's all going to work out! We love you guys!
i hear you! we have been at so many crossroads in the past few months that it has been overwhelming at times. and the worst part? being patient and waiting it out. I found a lot of comfort in a lesson given a few weeks ago. they were talking about prayer and we read in the bible dictionary (http://scriptures.lds.org/bd/p/54) go to the 7th paragraph. it is amazing and it put things BACK into perspective. I especially love 2 things about this: 1)that God is willing to grant us things, conditional on us asking and 2)that prayer is work!
I know this sounds like a sunday school lesson! :) But honestly, with all of the MANY changes we have made this last year, we have seen TOO many blessing to NOT see the hand of the Lord in EVERY SINGLE THING. It's hard to be patient and to be in limbo, but you and Gary are awesome and the Lord will provide. Hehe, too bad it's not on YOUR timeline, right? Love you and good luck!
Becca- Hey I was thinking about what you said about wanting the "Yes do that!" or no that's wrong answer-- but at times when I don't feel like I have received either- I feel like Heavenly Father is telling me that either one is right- I just need to pick a road- THEN if it turns out wrong-He will let me know. I in my life have felt lots of "no that's not right" from Him but very rarely have I felt "Yes, that's it" because I think for me a lot of the times either choice would be right- Heavenly Father wants us to learn and try and make decisions and experience mortal life and of course listen to Him. I have always felt that It's better to be in a car moving and trying to find the right road then it is to sit in the car and go no where. Wow, I guess that was me venting too.Love you!!
Hey! I don't really know what's going on, but I agree w/ the comment right before mine. I feel that sometimes both or any of the choices are right, but we just are allowed the agency to chose. We are about to move to house sit for a couple who is going on a mission. It was a hard decision to make because we didn't feel right or wrong about it. I think it will be an adventure to put it lightly. We are hoping to be able to save up to build. Life is an adventure that's for sure! I like what you said about us thinking we're in control. :) Hope all works out!
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